last nite

Woz a bit of a mental nite last nite - went on da raz in town after work wiv lads from work so woz drinkin from bowt 5 in yates bar an me scally m8s got there later but woz already well twated when they join us - da builder lads i work wiv can rite neck em.
da new geezer from work woz ther wot makes me hard - eez not been wiv us long but eez fuckin fit an been avin his shirt off last few days an eez got massiv chest wich he says is from workin but reckon he must b down da gym every nite! eez well fit an top block 2, rite cheeky lad, gess eez bowt 25 an alwayz pissin abowt an tryin 2 wind us up, an he doz sum of da otha lads, wot think eez a twat, but i reckon eez cool. he aint said nuffin bowt a mrs, but eez alwayz jokin bowt fuckin n stuff.
n e way, so i'm talkin 2 steve an i alwayz feel like eez cumin on 2 me a bit, but dont reckon he wld do nuffin, jus cums on 2 n e 1 cos eez a slappa. sum of me m8s turn up an tanyas ther 2 an i aint seen her for ages but dont wanna go ova an talk cos it looks like she ther wiv a new bloke. then me m8 Damo starts pushin dis bloke an da bloke pushin back an his m8s get round an pull em apart an then da bouncerz go ova an tell damo to leave da bar, so we goz ova an tryin 2 find owt wot hapnd an damo is arguing wiv em an sayin it wer otha bloke wot startd it but they try 2 push him owt an we is stoppin them an then ther is like 4 fuck of big bouncerz round us so we jus leave.
turns owt tanyas new bloke as been sayin i is queer an wldnt av sex wiv her an that y we split, an damo woz stickin up 4 me an sayin i is no fag, an thats y they woz nearly fightin, wich well pissd me of that he woz goin round sayin that, cos i dont kno whoz heard it. i wantd 2 go back an smack da fucka but we went down 2 da pier an woz hangin owt on da beech an ben goz past us wiv deez new m8s an sum of r crew kno them so they cum ova an it feels weerd seein ben again an he lookd like he wernt gonna say nuffin 2 me at 1st but we jus said alrite 2 each otha but nuffin more an then they went of. got me thinkin bowt him an wot hpnd an i wish we woz still best m8s.
so woz havin a rite downa an smokin da gear wernt helpin so i went home an when i got in mum woz cryin on da sofa an i dont kno wots hapnd but course its her twat bfriend wots upset her again - she reckon he been cheatin an she told him but he sayd she is lyin cow an da 1 wots cheatin, an shes jus tryin to hide it. Then he had gone owt drinkin an left her an she woz waitin up, silly cow - told her to lock the door an not let him back but she wldnt, sheez stupid like that.
so crap nite, an well need to get a shag. off to watch da footy now. laterz...